Help, ik heb een puber-boek

help ik heb een puber

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Help!

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Ik heb een puber-boek

‘Ik heb gewoon niks met volwassen. Het zijn niet mijn type mensen.’ –  Een puberzoon (16) van een goede kennis van me. 

Zestien jaar geleden. Het eerste seizoen van de Soprano’s was op de buis. U had een Nokia 3310, een DVD-recorder en een CD-speler. U las samen met uw partner Help, ik heb mijn vrouw zwanger gemaakt!, een doorwrocht wetenschappelijk boek waarmee volgens berekeningen van het CBS, CPNB en RIVM naar schatting rond de tweehonderdduizend relaties zijn gered.

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Help! Ik heb een puber-boek

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Fast forward naar 2021. Die kleine, schattige, naar Zwitsal geurende liefdesbaby in zijn lichtblauwe rompertje is veranderd in een slungelige, naar zweet ruikende puisterige jongen met een lijf dat eruit ziet alsof hij leeft op een dieet van GHB en het vlees van Soedanese koeien. Dat kleine, in een roze ‘I love papa’-romper gestoken meisje is getransformeerd in een humeurig, wispelturig, überemotioneel, met haar ogen rollend meisje dat alles wat u doet of zegt stom, awkward of weird vindt.

Wen er maar aan: de komende jaren zit uw kind in de puberteit en uw hele gezin in de pubertijd. En dat gaat niet meevallen.
Een puber is gemiddeld vier jaar lang puber, en de eerste puber is nog niet uit gepuberd, of het gelazer begint alweer bij de volgende.

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Maar er is er licht aan het eind van de tunnel.

Volgend voorjaar komt Help, ik heb een puber!-boek uit. Een Dummyguide into pubers. Een How to survive your puber. Een Puberadvisor vol tips en trucs.

Alles wordt besproken in dit puber boek:

  • het puberlichaam,
  • de puberseks,
  • de puberschool,
  • de pubervrienden,
  • het puberhumeur,
  • de pubertelefoon,
  • de puberdrank en -drugs,
  • de puberopvoeding en,
  • vooral, de puberouders.

Want de sleutel ligt bij u en die sleutel ga ik u geven. Help, ik heb een puber! is een boek dat u gaat helpen de komende jaren uw puber in leven te houden en zelf die periode door te komen zonder het risico te lopen een strafblad te krijgen.

Houd moed.

Tot in het voorjaar van 2022,

Kluun

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